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This page has the transcript for the video Math Circus.

Arrival at the Math Factory

(The video begins with Mr. Websley viewing through the binoculars at the Math Factory, where he sees Professor Quigley bouncing around in springy shoes, while Mr. Frog drops the Frog Kids there)

Mr. Websley: (quacks) What have Frog and Quigley done now? Hmm, I magnanimously put in a huge order of smart talking numbers to put in my smart math books. They should be working and training those numbers now! Instead, they're having fun. (quacks) I've got to see what kind of hoop-de-diddly foolishness they're up to now!

Professor Quigley: Salutations and welcome to the marvelous math factory! Before we can go in, you need to put a little spring into your steps!

(Professor Quigley gives Leap, Lily, and Tad springy shoes)

Leap: Huh?

Lily: What's up, Professor?

Tad: What's with the funny shoes?

Professor Quigley: Ha-ha! Oh, you're in for a real surprise. Here at The Math Factory, you can absolutely positively COUNT on it!

(Professor Quigley, Leap, Lily and Tad enter)

Inside the Math Factory

Professor Quigley: This is where all our hard work really adds up. The numeral numerating numbers machine!

Tad: Look at all the numbers! There's 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10!

Mr. Websley: Just as I thought. They're not working, they're playing!

1: I'm number one!

4: FOUR!

0: I'm just a big nothin'!

6: The sixter!

Professor Quigley: These numbers are real jumpers! Give em half a chance. They'll be all over you. So be on your toes!

The Frog Kids: Wow!

7: Seven is heaven!

9: Divine nine!

3: Three's a crowd!

Professor Quigley: Numbers! (claps) Back in line please! Ha-ha! These little fellas come fresh out of the numbers machine knowing their names. (Tad gets on the conveyor belt) But they haven't had a clue on how to count or how to add or subtract. So before they can go out into the world, they need some training.

5: Gimme five!

10: And then there's ten!

8: Eight is great!

Tad: Tad is rad!

(Professor Quigley removes Tad from the conveyor belt, and along with Leap and Lily, go to the next room, where they take off their springy shoes)

Tad: (laughs) What are all those things, professor?

Professor Quigley: Those are quidgets, my boy. They live right here at the Math Factory along with all the numbers.

Mr. Websley: (quacks) What are all those things?

Professor Quigley: The quidgets and numbers work hand in hand with each other. That's what the training is all about. (gets a whistle) Now the fun begins. Heh-heh! (blows whistle) Quidgets, get ready to take a number! Okay, let's begin. Tell me, how many quidgets are on the stage? Go ahead, Tad, how many quidgets do you see?

(shows an empty stage)

Tad: Um… well I... I don't see any, Professor.

Professor Quigley: None? Not even one? No quidgets at all?

Tad: No, professor. No quidgets at all.

Professor Quigley: That's absolutely correct! There are none there, and when there are none of something, none at all, (writes a 0 on the board) then the number is 0. Will the number 0 step up please? (however, the 0 appears to be missing) Hmm, how appropriate! 0 isn't here.

(the number 0 runs in)

0: I'm just a big nothing!

Professor Quigley: Never invite a 0 to a party. They're always late! And they add nothing to the conversation! Heh-heh! Let's move on. Will one of the number 1's bounce forward please.

1: I'm number one!

Professor Quigley: And may I have 1, just 1 quidget please? (Tad gets one quidget) Okay, there's 1 quidget there. You are the number 1.

1: I'm number one!

Professor Quigley: Yes you are. And any time you see one of anything, it's your job to number it. Let’s try it. Ready, set... (blows whistle) JUMP!

1: (jumps) I'm number one!

Professor Quigley: Yes, very well done. That's the number 1. (writed a number 1 on the board) PERFECT! Now, let's go through them all.

(Scene changes into a bedroom scene in the Math Factory, where Professor Quigley changes into a cowboy-style clothing, complete with a big white hat, yellow shirt, blue bandanna, brown vest, frog-head belt, brown pants, and big spur-boots, and the "Quidget Counting Song" starts)

Professor Quigley:

You got 1 and 1 quidget and that's not all. 1 little coin on a shelf on a wall. 1 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 1 little worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 1.

You got 2 and 2 quidgets and that's not all. 2 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 2 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 2 little worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 2.

You got 3 and 3 quidgets and that's not all. 3 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 3 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 3 smaller worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 3.

You got 4 and 4 quidgets and that's not all. 4 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 4 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 4 smaller worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 4.

You got 5 and 5 quidgets and that's not all. 5 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 5 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 5 smaller worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 5.

Tad: Professor, may I try counting, too?

Professor Quigley: Be my guest!

(Tad blows the whistle, and another Quidget jumps in)

Tad:

You got 6 and 6 quidgets and that's not all. 6 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 6 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 6 big worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 6.

You got 7 and 7 quidgets and that's not all. 7 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 7 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 7 big worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 7.

You got 8 and 8 quidgets and that's not all. 8 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 8 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 8 big worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 8.

You got 9 and 9 quidgets and that's not all. 9 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 9 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 9 giant worm. Let's see how it grows and that's the number 9.

You got 10 and 10 quidgets and that's not all. 10 little coins on a shelf on a wall. 10 of Tad's fingers, those aren't his toes. A 10 giant worm. Let's see how it grows...

Tad and Professor Quigley:

And that's the number 10.

Yippee!

(the "Quidget Counting Song" ends)

Entering The Math Circus

(Fades to Mr. Websley peeking through the back door window.)

Mr. Websley: How is any of this supposed to make the numbers smarter?

(back in the factory)

Professor Quigley: I couldn't have done better myself. Alright, I think you all have the right idea. And there's no better place to learn about numbers than in…

(The doors open, revealing…)

The Singing Sign Letters: The Math Circus!

(Professor Quigley appears, dressed as a ring-master)

Professor Quigley: Welcome to the Big Top!

The Frog Kids: Wow!

(shows numbers running into the circus)

Professor Quigley: Come on! It's showtime!

(Leap, Lily and Tad follow Professor Quigley into the Math Circus, and Mr. Websley quacks and faints)

Leap: May we help?

Lily: Yes! Yes!

Tad: Please?

Professor Quigley: Of course. I could always use one assistant, or two, or three! Leap, Lily, I need you to help the crowd in numeration participation.

Leap: Okey-dokey-artichokey!

Lily: Easy, Peasy, Lemon, Squeezy! It'll be a sensation!

Tad: But what about me?

Professor Quigley: Why Tad, I need you to help ME!

Tad: Oh, what do I do first, Professor?

Professor Quigley: Just say "on with the show."

Starting the Show

Tad: Okay. (clears throat) On with the show!

Professor Quigley: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages! Welcome, welcome, welcome to simply the most spectacular show, this side of Cincinnati, Serecuz, or Sydney! You'll see amazing acts of addition!

Tad: And not to mention really stupendous uhh...

Professor Quigley: And stupendous subtraction stunts all performed by the fantastic!

Tad: Not to mention really FABULOUS!

Professor Quigley: Yes, fabulous world famous numbers 0 through 10! And Professor Quigley's flying quidgets!

Tad: Yeah, what he said.

(audience clapping and cheering)

(Lily changes the sign from "Welcome" to "Counting to 10")

Numbers 1 to 10, the Stars of our Show

Professor Quigley: Now, hold on to your popcorn, folks! For our first act, we're going to simply amaze you!

(the lights go out, and Mr. Websley quacks and tries to find his way around in the dark)

Professor Quigley: All eyes above on the Jumbotron, please! (the screen turns on) One by one, each quidget will fly through the air, land on each other's shoulders, and latch together to form a stack of quidgets, then a number will stick to them and so on. Number, quidget, number, quidget up and up until they are 10 quidgets tall! So, without any further ado, our own factory fresh specially trained for finding numbers! (audience clapping and cheering) Tell me, Tad, if we start with no quidgets, no quidgets here at all, we start with...

Tad: 0!

(the light moves, but 0 never shows up)

Professor Quigley: Huh? 0?

(the number 0 runs in)

Tad and Professor Quigley: Always late.

0: I'm just a big nothing!

Tad: Bring on the flying quidgets!

(the lights turn on and flying quidgets appear where they raise their hands up)

(the "Stars of our Show" song starts)

Professor Quigley:

Hurry Hurry! Step right up, take a look! A quick review. We'll introduce the numbers! 1 through 10 right here for you!

(sings a scale while counting from 1 to 10)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Now let the show begin!

Tad:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

Professor Quigley:

Performing high and low,

Tad:

With quidgets white as snow,

Tad and Professor Quigley:

These numbers are the stars of our show!

(the "Stars of our Show" song ends)

Professor Quigley: There you have it, folks! It's 10 quidgets tall! Did you see how they stop on 10, Tad? That's a mighty important number!

Tad: I know all about 10, Professor. (counts on his fingers) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! That's my both hands number!

Professor Quigley: Yes, 10! And all kinds of wonderful things can be done with...

Leap: Ten-ber!

(a quidget knocks Mr. Websley in the barrel and another quidget bonks on Professor Quigley's head)

Professor Quigley: And that's the end of the famous, uh, ten-ber act! There will now be a brief intermission! (sighs) Take 5, everybody!

(Tad brings in a Number 5)

5: Wait! Wait! Where are you taking me?

Professor Quigley: No, no, no! I mean, let's take 5 minutes to get a treat at the circus ice cream stand!

Tad: (gasps) Ice cream?

5: Gimme five!

(Tad and 5 high-five each other)

5-Minute Intermission at the Ice Cream Stand

(Transition to the circus midway area. The audience is playing math-themed games, while the Frog Kids stop at an ice cream stand, where they see Mr. Websley disguised as an ice cream vendor)

Mr. Websley: I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Get your ice cream here!

The Frog Kids: Mr. Websley?

Mr. Websley: Heh...eh-ba-ba-bah...AH-CHOO! (sneezes his mustache onto Tad) Websley? (he brings the mustache back from Tad) I've never heard of him! The name's Scoopsley. Yeah! So, how many scoops can Scoopsley scoop for you?

1: You can have 1 scoop!

2: 2 scoops!

3: 3 scoops!

4: 4 scoops!

5: 5 scoops!

Tad: Hey, you numbers really know what you're doing!

3: We took Professor Quigley's training program!

4: I got all 4 questions right on my exam!

5: Well, la de da, I got 5 out of 5 and graduated cum laude in '55.

Mr. Websley: (clears throat) Come on, numbers! Back to work now! So, what will it be? (he gives Leap, Lily and Tad a chocolate, strawberry and vanilla ice cream)

Lily: (licks her strawberry ice cream) Mmm! Needs salt!

Professor Quigley: (offscreen) Okay, that's five, everybody!

Addition and Subtraction

Professor Quigley: Ladies and Gentlemen, I now direct you to look not left, not right, and not down, but UP!

Audience: Ooh!

Professor Quigley: Feast your eyes on the daring death-defying fabulous flying quidget family, and a mighty big family it is! Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, Birds and Beasts, the flying quidgets have been training for this moment for years. Let's see if all that hard work adds up!

Tad: Professor, are we going to do more counting?

Professor Quigley: No, Tad. Now it's time for the really big acts: Addition and Subtraction!

Tad: Oh, cool!

Professor Quigley: Believe me, you're in for a treat! (the lights go out) We're gonna start with one quidget over there! That's 1! Do you see what I mean? Isn't this fun? He's going to swing across and join the other quidget! That's 1 plus 1! Now you'll clearly see that 1 plus 1 equals 2!

(The audience looks up and the lights turn on)

Tad: Well, shouldn't they be doing this with Annette?

Professor Quigley: Who's Annette?

(Guitar riff punchline is heard)

Tad: (adds with his fingers.) 1 + 1 = 2!

(The quidget begin its first trapeze swing.)

Professor Quigley: One...

(The second quidget on the other side begins its swing.)

Professor Quigley: Plus one...

(They link up with each other, making two.)

Professor Quigley: Equals two!

(The audience, including Mr. Websley, applauds.)

Tad: Addition looks fun! Let me try one, Professor!

Professor Quigley: You've got center stage, Tad!

Tad: Four.

(Four quidgets appear.)

Tad: Plus two.

(Two quidgets appear. Both groups take the swing and join with each other, making six.)

Tad: 4 + 2 = 6!

Professor Quigley: Yes! 4 + 2 = 6!

(audience clapping and cheering)

Leap and Lily: That's great, Tad!

Professor Quigley: Ready, Tad?

Audience: 3 + 1 = 4! 2 + 5 = 7!

Lily: Everybody now!

Audience: 6 + 2 = 8! 3 + 3 = 6! 3 + 3 + 3 = 9!

(audience clapping and cheering)

(Lily changes the sign from "Addition" to "Subtraction")

Professor Quigley: Your attention, please! Before our next act begins, is there a doctor in the house?

(shows a mouse who's a doctor in the audience)

Doctor Mouse: Yes, I'm a doctor!

Professor Quigley: Oh good! A mouse! That makes me feel better! Because the fabulous flying quidget family will attend something so difficult, so dangerous, so daring! We just might need your services! Ladies and Gentlemen, I must ask for your complete silence! One slip, one miscalculation could be disastrous!

(Everyone gasps)

Professor Quigley: This is just like addition, but backwards! We start with two quidgets! That's 2! As they swing across, one quidget drops off! That's 2 minus 1! And 1 quidget is left on the trapeze! So, 2 minus 1 equals 1! Yes, folks! These acrobats specialize in subtraction, presenting the stubtractobats!

Tad: (subtracts on his fingers) 2 - 1 = 1!

(A 2-quidget starts the swing)

Professor Quigley: Two.

(They split into two 1-quidgets.)

Professor Quigley: Minus one, equals one!

Audience: Whoa!

Professor Quigley: 4 - 2 = 2!

(audience clapping and cheering)

Tad: This is just as much fun as addition, Professor! Can I try it?

Professor Quigley: Take it away, Tad!

Tad: 6 - 2 = 4!

Lily: Wow, Tad! You can be a subtractobat!

Tad: 10 - 5 = 5!

(audience clapping and cheering, and Tad bows)

Professor Quigley and Audience: 3 - 1 = 2! 5 - 4 = 1!

Lily: Everybody now!

Audience: 8 - 2 = 6! 10 - 2 = 8!

Professor Quigley: Ladies and Gentlemen, I've just been informed that the flying quidget family and the subtractobats have a special treat for us today! For the first time since they perform from the crowned heads of Europe, they're going to combine their two acts: The Mathmetical Marvel Code! Uh... Subtract-Addition-ism. (laughs) Yes, this will really be something to write home about!

(the number 1 jumps on 1 quidget and the number 5 jumps on 5 quidgets)

Audience: 1 + 5 = 6! 6 - 3 = 3! 3 + 4 = 7! 7 - 2 = 5! 5 + 5 = 10!

(audience clapping and cheering)

Professor Quigley: Thank you very much, you talented, talented quidgets!

(Lily changes the sign from "Subtraction" to "10 to 100")

Math circus 10s/Counting by 10's to 100

Professor Quigley: Just amazing! Ladies and Gentlemen, now let's build with a very special number! Guess you know what I'm talking about that very important number, number 10!

Tad: Come on! Gimme ten, gimme ten! Hey, dog! Meet Tad!

(a dog in the crowd gives Tad a high-ten)

Professor Quigley: And to demonstrate just how important 10 is! May I direct your attention to ring number 1 where it's going to get a little noisy in a minute?

(The audience applaudes. Mr. Websley sneaks off.)

Mr. Websley: I'm so close to the action! Where can I hide?

(He hides under a white tarp. The quidgets uncover the tarp, revealing a giant cannon. Not knowing that Mr. Websley is in it, they close the cannon hatch.)

Professor Quigley: When I said noisy, I mean, really noisy. Count them, folks! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 cannons which will each fire 10 quidgets!

(Everyone gasps)

Professor Quigley: But that's not all! We have a special big, big cannon that will fire if and only if we successfully reach the grand number of 100!

(Everyone gasps)

Professor Quigley: We've never fired it before, but perhaps tonight will be the night. And who you might ask would dare to get inside those cannons? Only the daring quidget family! And with the help of my trusty assistants, we're all going to make Math Circus history! We're going to load up each of the cannons with 10 quidgets! Then we'll fire the first 10 over to the target. Next, we'll fire another 10 next to the first to make 20. Then, we'll keep lining them up by tens to make 30, 40, all the way until we reach 100 quidgets! Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, count out loud with us! Are you ready, quidget family?

(the 10 quidgets are loaded in the cannons)

Tad: Let's rock it, Professor! (rolls the drum)

Professor Quigley: Then start the music!

(The music starts and the 10 quidgets pop out of the cannons)

Audience: 10! 20! 30! 40! 50! 60! 70! 80! 90!

(suddenly, the music stops)

Professor Quigley: Will they make it, Ladies and Gentlemen? Hold your breath!

(Everyone gasps)

(Tad plays a drumroll, then one more quidget with 10 blocks pop out of the cannon!)

Audience: 100!

(audience clapping and cheering)

Mr. Websley Gets Shot Out of the Big Cannon

Professor Quigley: Oh there you have it, folks! One hundred quidgets! We did it! Bring out the big, big cannon!

(audience clapping and cheering)

(Leap, Lily and Tad move the big, big cannon)

Mr. Websley: (from inside the cannon) Hmm, strange, why am I moving?

(Professor Quigley walks and pulls the rope, blasting Mr. Websley out of a cannon)

Mr. Websley: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

(He crash-lands into a net as his feathers fly everywhere.)

Tad: (giggles) Oopsie!

(Leap, Lily, Tad and Professor Quigley look around and see Mr. Websley in a net)

Lily: Are you okay, Mr. Websley?

Mr. Websley: Okay? (quacks) That was utterfly (becomes delighted) quack-tastic! Well, Tad, are you ready for the Big Finish?

(Lily changes the sign from "10 to 100" to "The Big Finish")

The Great Math Circus/Finale

Tad: Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming to the Math Circus!

(the lights go out, and the "We're at the Math Circus" song starts)

Tad:

We're at the Math Circus, the Math Circus. With numbers everywhere, they go leaping through the air. The quidgets never stop here beneath the big, big top. We met the number 1 through 10 and here they are again.

1:

1.

2:

2.

3:

3.

4:

4.

5:

5.

6:

6.

7:

7.

8:

8.

9:

9.

10:

And 10.

Tad:

And 0 is our special friend. We're at the Math Circus, the Math Circus. We add the numbers up and then it's minus takeaway.

Mr. Websley:

Like 2 plus 2 is 4.

Leap and Lily:

And 4 minus 3 is 1.

Tad:

This adding and subtracting can be lots and lots of fun.

Mr. Websley:

When the cannons thundering and roaring Quidgets soaring 10 by 10 by 10.

Tad:

When the cannon stopped, 100 quidgets have gone plopped. What a sight to see how such a number came to be.

Tad and Mr. Websley:

We're at the Math Circus, the Math Circus.

Mr. Websley:

It's fabulous!

Tad:

It's glorious!

Mr. Websley:

It's grand!

Tad:

And all the numbers big and small.

Mr. Websley:

We love them one and all.

Tad and Mr. Websley:

For numbers entertained, they simulate our brain. And without numbers, the circus will never be the same.

Tad:

Oh yeah!

(the "We're at the Math Circus" song ends)

Breakout

Mr. Websley: You've done it again, Quigley! What a (quacks) Brilliant way to train numbers! Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to announce that I, Mr. Websley, as doubling, no? Tripling, no? Quadrupling my order of smart math books!

(Leap, Lily, Tad, the numbers and quidgets cheering, and the audience clapping and cheering)

Tad: Here you go, Mr. Websley! Gimme 1, 2, 3, 4, 5!

Mr. Websley: And I'll give you 6, 7, 8, 9 and (gives Tad a high-five) 10!

(the video ends with a fade-out on Tad and Mr. Websley laughing)

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